Years ago I whispered, half-hoping you would hear
My chin on your shoulder, muffling a voice in fear
I mean it now like I meant it then
It may be a little different, but the essence is the same
If only you’ll let me, I seek to alleviate the pain.
I thought it best to keep quiet to protect your heart
Convincing myself that someday the sentiment will depart
Perhaps I feared that you wouldn’t reciprocate
So deep in to the volt go my three faithful words
In exchange, with my heart heavy, I offered stabs of swords.
The tides have changed and the stars have fallen
But it still means the same as it did at that moment.
Here we stand with hopes of what we could’ve done then.
Though we can’t turn back, there will always be something about you
That no one will ever come close to.
for you to even send this to him then, especially then, in the midst of what was our demise. i believed you when you said that you had absolutely no feelings for him and you only wanted him to realize we should be together. i should’ve realized then you were full of shit.
you deliberately set out to remind him of the times you spent together and yeah, i realize he must not have ever gotten over you since you left him in order to be with another guy. guys will always hold on to the one they lost and you happened to be that girl. and i fucking hated you for it. for coming back. for ruining what i thought would be my happiest relationship.
it’s hard enough remembering that every past relationship i’ve had has left me in ruins. it’s worse knowing that i can’t trust him because of them. and then he asks me to believe him, to trust his judgment and know that he’d never hurt me. but your interference has made me realize he’s just like them.
and just so you know, i think you deserve each other.
i’ve realized that my feelings about certain past issues have created an extremely negative part of me that i don’t feel inclined to share with just anyone which is my purpose in creating this completely anonymous, out-of-prying-eyes, blog.
should anyone come to find this, they’d never really expect who i am to begin with so that’s not necessarily an issue.
i just want to vent. to bitch and say everything that my personal principles never allow me to say aloud to the people that deserve my criticism or verbal abuse. i’m not a mean person, i just can’t tolerate when people i assumed i could trust, people very close to me, only lie about the things that matter most. and i have every right, every fucking right, to hate you right now.